


Scared to Love

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: Date Rape Drug/Roofies, F/M, GHB - Freeform, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 19:37:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11630472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: A piece for LittleRaspberry!Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Scared to Love

Spencer Reid was probably destined to be alone. At least that’s what he assumed as he looked at the woman that he loved more than anything in the world. Shortly after Maeve was taken from him, Y/N had started with the Bureau. At first, Spencer didn’t expect himself to like her as a team member, no less a lover, but after a year of working together, the two admitted their feelings for each other. 

Y/N was the epitome of perfection - at least in his eyes. Not only was she beautiful, her eyes as stormy and beautiful as the oceans, and her smile brighter than the sun, but her intelligence rivaled his, without the faults that came with it, like his lack of social skills and occasional superiority complex. In addition, she was more kind than the world deserved; if someone needed a shirt, she would give them the one off her back. But as much as he loved her, as perfect as she was for him, as amazing as her puzzle piece would fit with his, he was scared.

He was too scared.

He knew of her feelings and she knew of his, but after what happened with Maeve, he was afraid to ever truly love again. What if she was taken away again? And he wasn’t able to do anything…he couldn’t live through that again. He just couldn’t; even the thought made his heart clench, the blood damned up to the point where he was on the verge of explosion. Worse yet, Spencer could tell he was going to lose her, all because he couldn’t allow himself to commit. Since they’d come clean with each other, he’d been keeping her at an arm’s length, refusing to allow himself to linger on her both mentally and physically for more than a few seconds; if he did, he’d be lost for good. “Spence,” she said, walking into the bullpen that morning, her voice soft with uncertainty as she formed the words she wanted to say. He’d been rude recently, so he stopped himself from doing that, but he also refused to meet her gaze, allowing her to continue speaking if she felt like it while he did some paperwork. “I know that you’ve been keeping me at bay lately, but I also know how you feel about me. If you can’t actually commit to something with me, I can’t sit here and wait for you. It’s not fair to me. Although I think your brain is being unfair to you.”

That caught his attention. His head snapped up to meet her gaze, her eyes glazed over with a curtain of thick tears. “What do you mean by that?”

“For a genius, you sure are thick Spencer,” she replied. A tear cascaded its way down the side of her face and fell to the floor. “I can’t imagine how you felt after Maeve-”

“No, you can’t,” he snapped.

“I may not know how you feel, but I know the world, and I know love. If you continuously push people away because you’re afraid of losing them, you. will. die. alone.” Her lip quivered as she turned away, getting ready to head back toward her desk. Before she did, she spun back around toward him, once more, giving him a final word on the matter. “I don’t want that for you. You deserve to have someone to love, but I can’t give you my all and not get the same in return.”

—–

After two weeks of insane tension between the two, things started to settle down. Y/N acted as if nothing had ever been said between them - good or bad - and honestly, he had no idea how to feel about that. However she started to seethe when he overheard a conversation between Emily, Penelope and Y/N. “So you’ve got a date tonight?’ Emily asked hopefully. 

Y/N replied with an enthusiasm that made Spencer ache inside. “Yup!”

“But what about you and Boy Genius?” Penelope whined. “I wanted you to get together. You’re perfect together.”

Her enthusiasm faded away, but Spencer had already started to walk away before he heard anything more, therefore not hearing what she said. “I thought so too, Pen, but I’m not going to sit around and wait for Reid to open himself up to someone again. After what happened with Maeve, who I never met but knowing Spencer obviously meant a lot to him, he can’t allow himself to feel that way about someone again, and I’m not waiting. I want to find someone, so yea, I have a date.”

Penelope sighed, trying to give Y/N an encouraging smile as she wrestled with the fact that Spencer was being such an idiot about this. Granted, going through something like that would stick with someone forever in a certain way, but he did deserve some happiness in his life, and Y/N had brought him that; Penelope wanted to smack him for being so stubborn. Emily was definitely going to smack him, though she knew Y/N was right and was happy for her. “Well have fun,” she said. “You’ll have to let us know how it goes.”

“Of course,” Y/N laughed. As if she wouldn’t tell them everything the moment she walked back into her apartment later tonight. 

—–

The way to get over someone was to start something with someone new right? At least that’s what Y/N told herself as she walked into the down-to-earth bar she frequented on the weekends. That’s where she’d promised to meet Dylan. He’d eyed her for quite a few weeks and after Y/N realized she couldn’t wait for Spencer anymore, Dylan had asked her what was wrong. They got to talking and by the end, he asked her on an official date. It took two weeks to finally come about, but now it was here and she was feeling pretty good about it.

Dylan was very cute, a cut jawline stubbled with black hair that matched the luscious locks on top of his head. His piercing green eyes bore into her as she walked toward him, offset by the slight wrinkles around his eyes, making him look slightly weathered, but gorgeous just the same. His tanned hands were soft and smooth, something he said he appreciated considering his construction worker father had the most roughened palms of anyone he knew; he was thankful they’d apparently come from his work in construction rather than it being hereditary. “Hey, Y/N,” he said, standing up from the table and kissing her on the cheek. “How was work?”

“Same old, same old,” she said. “What about you? Did your company get that project they’ve been seeking out?”

He pumped his fists in the air like a little kid, which she found endearing. “Yes, which means a raise for me, so drinks are on me tonight.”

“Well, how can I say no to that?” she laughed. 

While he got the first round of drinks, she fumbled in her bag, which had been buzzing for quite a few minutes. Just messages from the ladies saying to have fun on her date. “Here you go,” he said, coming over and handing her a beer. “We should play 20 questions. I feel like that’s always the best way to get to know each other.”

“I could be down for that,” she said, sipping at her drink. Over the next 20 minutes, she ask him all sorts of questions. Place he wanted to travel most? Scotland. Favorite sport to play? Basketball. And to watch? Baseball. What did he find the most pride in? His engineering degree and subsequent acceptance in an engineering doctoral program. He’d worked his ass off for it. Had he ever cried at a movie? Yes, and it was called My Dog Skip, which Y/N totally understood because that was one of the saddest movies she’d ever seen. Their first round wasted away her beer, so he asked if she wanted another one. Once she’d said yes, she excused herself to go to the bathroom and returned within a couple minutes. 

Now it was her turn to answer questions. Picking up the beer, she listened intently as he asked some similar questions and some different ones. “What’s one thing you’ve done that you’d never do again?”

“Cage diving with sharks,” she said instantly. It had been fun, but also intensely scary, so never again. 

His mouth dropped open, surprised that she’d do something like that. “Okay, what’s your weirdest or most bizarre deal breaker in a relationship?”

“Hmmm,” she said, thinking hard as she took another two sips of her drink. “I don’t know if it would be considered bizarre because of how often I see men doing it, but, if you’re the kind of guy that spits on the ground, we’re done. So gross. I don’t wanna kiss you after you’ve hocked up a loogie.”

The soft little giggle that came from him made her laugh in return. “I don’t do that, so I guess we’re good.” Nearly half the drink later, she noticed she felt off. She didn’t drunk until after 4 beers, at least. She was barely two in and she felt a little sweaty and her vision was blurred. When she glanced down, she realized her hands were a bit shaky too. She played it off, joking that she was such a lightweight when it came to drinking, that and that liquid went right through her, so once again, she went to the bathroom. 

“He dosed me,” Y/N said to herself as she entered the bathroom. There’d been a smirk on his face when she got up. She was dosed. GHB if she were placing a bet. Once inside, she sat down on one of the toilets and took her pulse, it was lower than her normal resting rate. This definitely wasn’t normal. She’d underestimated Dylan’s character.

Quickly, she sent a picture of him to Morgan. “What’s up babygirl?” he asked, as she picked up the phone.

“Did you get the picture I sent you?”

“Yea, is that your date?”

“Yes, and he dosed me Morgan.”

“What? Where are you? I’ll come get you.”

She told him the name of the bar and told him to hurry. She was pretty sure he’d given her enough to pass out and she felt her eyes getting heavier and heavier by the second. “Hurry, Morgan. As far as I know,” she slurred, “he’s still waiting outside.”

—–

When Morgan entered the bar just five minutes later (he’d driven nearly 100 miles an hour to get here so quickly), Dylan was still sitting by the table, and immediately Morgan shoved him against the wall and cuffed him. “Hey what the hell man?” he exclaimed, peering out from up against the wall to see blue and red lights approaching the bar. “What the hell are you doing?” 

“Your date called me. You dosed her. You’re under arrest.” As the other cops came in, he handed Dylan over to them and told them to wait before walking into the bathroom and finding Y/N nearly passed out on the floor. He could tell she’d been fighting it. “It’s okay. I’m here,” he whispered softly as her eyes fluttered open and shut. 

“Morgan?”

“Yea, babygirl it’s me. You’re safe.”

As he paraded her outside to the ambulance, Dylan cut his eyes at them both and immediately the local officers spun him around and brought him toward their car.

It only took 15 minutes to get to the hospital, but for Morgan it felt like forever. The dose hadn’t been enough to kill her, and because she knew the signs she would be able to be discharged within a few hours. Her phone began to ring off the hook. She was supposed to be home by now.

“Y/N? You home?” It was Garcia.

“No babygirl, it’s me,” Morgan replied. 

“What happened?” Her voice was immediately shaky, tears brimming in an instant. 

Morgan told her the whole story and said she’d be okay. “Just let everyone know she’d okay. I can see you’ve all been texting her.”

“I’ll let them know,” she said softly. “Take care of her Morgan.”

“Of course, babygirl.”

The minute they hung up, Morgan turned his attention toward making sure Y/N was safe and healthy, and Garcia made sure she let everyone know that Y/N was okay. In a group chat, she told everyone, Rossi, Spencer and Hotch included, that Y/N had been drugged and called Morgan for help.

The minute Spencer read what happened to her, his heart dropped. Someone had almost taken advantage of her, but she was okay - at least physically. Without thinking, he ran out of his apartment, barely grabbing his jacket along the way and made his way to the hospital, walking in just ten minutes later and running into Morgan. “How is she?” he asked softly, his eyes shaking in fear and guilt. She didn’t call him to help her. He’d made her feel that way - and knowing she was safe, not having her call him might’ve hurt more than anything. 

Morgan clapped Spencer on the shoulder and walked him toward her room. She was going to be discharged within a couple hours and was already awake, though tired. “She’s going to be okay. She called me as soon as she noticed she’d been dosed.” When he said that she’d called him instead of Reid, Morgan could see the hurt in the younger man’s eyes. 

As they rounded the corner into her room, she was taken aback by Spencer’s arrival, but she gave him a silent look that said she wanted a moment alone with him. The second Morgan left the room, he bent down to hug her. “Y/N, you’re okay,” he breathed.

“Yea, Spence,” she replied flatly. “I’m fine. Apparently I have no luck with men though.”

She looked away from him, not knowing what to say, until Spencer finally broke the tension. “Why didn’t you call me? Y/N, I love you, I would’ve helped you.”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t call you, Spence,” she replied. She was tired from the night’s events that tears immediately sprung to her eyes. “I love you too, but you don’t want me, or anyone, so I couldn’t have you, someone who doesn’t want to risk himself on me come and save me to have me fall further in love with you, so I called my friend.” 

“You do realize that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone? Even Maeve?”

She huffed incredulously. “You have a funny way of showing it.” Unless he was about to say sorry for being such an asshole these weren’t the words she wanted to hear right now, because they were exactly what she wanted to hear. 

“I’ve been pushing you away because I’m scared,” he said, reaching over and placing his hand on top of hers. “I thought that I loved Maeve, and I did, so much, but I love you more, and the thought of losing you or hurting you makes me want to die, so I thought it would be better to push you away.”

“Do you realize, when you say it out loud, how dumb that actually sounds?” she laughed hollowly. “Because you pushing me away hurts too.”

As his own tears welled up, he brought her hand up to his lips. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so, so sorry. Will you allow me to make it up to you?”

“We’ll work on it,” she said softly, as the night’s events finally started to take their toll. “Will you stay here until I get discharged?”

As he stood up, he told her that of course he would, nudging her aside slightly so he could come to sit on the bed with her. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered again. “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Nearly fifteen minutes later, Morgan returned to Y/N’s room to see Reid and Y/N sleeping. With a small smile, he took a seat in the chair across from her bed. Both of them were here; she was in good hands now.


End file.
